The Diet is Starting Tomorrow

Mmmm.  Teacher Appreciation Week!

When I first started thinking about this post this morning, the subject was going to be how I was going to be a model of self-control, dieting my way to a more comfortable airplane seat.  Nine-point-five hours to Tokyo is a long time, you know.  Last night I sat and planned a program that's rigid, strict, and completely outside of the realms of common sense.  Something I would truly have to work to endure over the next five weeks, ultimately succeeding in having to pour myself into the seat. 

And then Teacher Appreciation Week happened.  I rolled out of bed this morning, drank my Slim-Fast, ate my apple, put another Slim-Fast and apple in a lunch box, and headed to work.  Waiting at work to throw a wrench into my plans was a platter of McDonald's Hash Browns and Breakfast Burritos, courtesy of the Florida DOE who had chosen our school to spoil rotten today.  

No problem, I thought, wiping the grease from my mouth.  I'll just have my Slim-Fast and apple for lunch and be right back on plan.  At lunch I smelled the delectable aroma of bag upon bag of Taco Bell's finest.  

No problem, I thought, wiping my hot-sauce-stained hands on the sides on my pants.  I'll just have my Slim-Fast snack bar after school, enjoy a sensible dinner, and go to bed early, knowing that I made my best effort after work.  As I walked the last of my students to extended day after today's final bell, the sound of five Hungry Howie's pizza boxes opening at once seemed to sing my name, echoed by a large carrot cake and innumerable chocolate chip cookies.  

No problem, I thought, rolling out of the room like Violet Beauregard after gorging myself for the third time.  There's always tomorrow.

Oompa Loompa doompa-dee doo!

I've got another taco for you!